Do you know what you want most, deep down in your truest self? Something you’ve desired all of your life, that’s part of who you are as a person? I don’t.
When I see encouragement to Follow your dreams!, Align your actions with your values!, or to Honor your true desire! rather than staying safe but stagnant, my first thought is, “Gah! I don’t know what my dreams are!”
I don’t know what my true, deepest desire is. Is it to be loved? To be liked? For my kids and the people I love to be happy? Is it to travel? To live near the ocean? Any of those alone doesn’t seem like enough. To be loved or liked or for my loved ones to be happy — all of those are outside of my control, so it seems futile for any those to be my deepest desire. If my true desire is to travel or live by the ocean, why? What is it that I want from those these things?
With travel, I seek new experiences, new scenery, new people to observe. I seek input and learning and expansion so that I’m not contained in my own bubble with limited perspective and understanding. I think I value those things because I seek connection with humanity and the world around us. With my desire to live near the ocean, I think that’s also because I seek connection, but with nature and spirituality. I want to tap into the forces of of the universe, and I feel those best when I’m by the salty sea.
I wonder if this means that feeling a connection is a deep driver for me: connection with both humanity and a higher force that’s bigger than all of us.
When I look at what I do with my free time, this tracks. I read and have always read. I like to read for similar reasons to why I like to travel. I don’t just read for entertainment, thought that’s definitely part of it. I mostly read because I’m fascinated by the millions of experiences of being human. I read to see through someone else’s eyes, to gain perspectives beyond my own. Again, I am drawn the bigness of the human experience, and the world, and the universe. We have an infinite future and a deeper history than I’ll ever be able to compass. But I do want to be a part of it.
I desire connection, this I see. This is good, because connection doesn’t have to be put off until I retire. But I don’t know if that’s my true desire, if it’s my dream. If connection is my true desire, I still don’t know the deepest why, I don’t know why I want to be connected to something bigger than me. Is it because I don’t want to feel alone? Is it because I desire to share goodness and love and empathy with others? Is it just because it feels good to feel connected? Maybe it’s the latter, and deep down I’m just a hedonist.
Do you know your deepest desire?
Butterfly Mind 
My deepest desire is to earn a living. Having more than one disability, I’ve been lucky enough to have the supplemental income and food stamps for as long as I had. However, longevity runs in my family, and I can’t expect the government to be able to take care of me for the next 40 or 50 years. People like me are looked down on for being a mooch on tax payers, but at the same time, people like me aren’t welcomed into the work force. I just released my debut novel on Amazon, and I’m hoping and praying for the impossible to happen. That I could earn a living off of writing. I know that’s far fetched. It’s rare for writers to be able to make a living off of their books. Most, probably like, 99.99% barely make any money at all. My publishers say that my novel is genre bending. So that gives me hope that my series could make some thing happen. How cool it would be to buy my own house, and all the furniture and appliances inside it, knowing that, yeah, I’M THE ONE Who busted my ass to get this stuff. I didn’t have to ask people to help me, fund me, donate to me, or anything like that.🦋
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I love this so much! I feel inspired reading this, and am sending lots of hope your way that your dream is not far fetched and that you will achieve your true desire. Thank you for sharing ♥️.
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I don’t think you need to have one deepest desire. It can be a combination of many things that make you feel worthwhile and happy. I think we have all gotten a bit obsessed with having a ‘true calling’ when there is no such thing, there’s just a series of things that make us happy and serve the world. Every connection you make with someone else enriches their life. Every time you speak honestly and openly encourages someone else to do the same. Just keep writing.
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I love this idea, Margaret! I don’t know why I didn’t think of that, that we aren’t limited to one true desire. Thank you for sharing an additional option, I feel freer now.
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My dearest desire was to be loved, and now that I have that, I feel a little lost… not in a bad way, just in a self aware way. I have realised that material things aren’t that important in life and if one craves love , they are most likely in need of some self reflection and self love.
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Yes! I wondered about the question of “Well, but what happens if you achieve your dreams? Do they lose their luster and just become the norm? Then what?” I like the idea of self-love, as that would definitely be an ongoing quest :D.
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