I woke after sunrise today for the first time in a week. Through my closed eyes, I sensed the glow of light when I stirred. Usually it is pitch dark when I wake. I saw an abrupt brightening, and when I opened my eyes to see what caused it, I heard the thunk of our cat jumping to the wood floor from the window sill, and I saw the curtain drift shut, and I watched a cat tail swish toward the bed.
I closed my eyes again and lay on my back under our comforter. A moment later, I heard the soft pouf of Tootsie jumping up on the foot of the bed. Through the sheets, blanket, and comforter, I felt the weight of her on my shins, my knees, my thighs, my stomach, as her fuzzy paws walked up my body before she arrived on my chest and lay down. She rubbed her furry face agains my chin and began to purr. I felt her rumble in my chest, and her contentedness seeped into me.
I had planned to get up and brush my teeth, but instead I lay in bed, the morning light shining softly through white curtains, the warm cocoon of our bed, and a purring cat on my heart. I pop out of bed every day, in the dark, as soon as my alarm goes off. Today I stayed put to pet a purring kitty and soak up her goodness.
I’m sitting in the window seat in our hotel room in old Montreal. A dog bark echoes off the building walls. I hear the hum of delivery trucks, gritty footsteps on the cobbles below, a man’s low voice on the quiet morning street. A breeze lifts the gauzy curtains. I’ve always wanted a window seat, to read in, to write in. For the moment, I have one.
I have a milestone birthday coming up. I told my husband I didn’t want to spend it in an empty house with both kids newly gone away for college. He planned a trip away to Montreal for us, and I am so happy. I have drunk in tremendous art in our days here. Along the cobbled street outside our hotel, we’ve ducked into several small galleries. Hanging in the window of one, Espace Langlois, is a pencil sketch of a solemn-faced boy. He wears a flamboyant, drapey yellow bow tie.
The painting is arresting. I love this little boy. I love him so much. Every time we walk down that street, I tell Brian, “I want to go see my little guy.” He reminds me of both my dad and my son. He looks wise, serious, super intelligent, and witty. If I won the lottery, that painting would be the first thing I’d buy.
The painter is Louis Boudreault, and I am captivated by his art. The mandarins. The blue pigments. After my tenth or twelfth visit to the window, I finally investigated to see whose portrait I admired. It is Albert Einstein.
We walked to the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts Saturday. Once in the museum, I used the tactic I learned in Bianca Bosker’s Get the Picture to get the most out of our visit: when I walked into a gallery room, I found the one artwork that sang to me, and I stood in front of it to drink it in. I looked at it from different angles and distances. I spent time with it. I noticed five things. I paid attention to the choices the artist made. I sat with whatever responses happened inside of me; I paid attention to how it made me feel. I did not read plaques. Afterwards, I regretted that I didn’t at least photograph the descriptions so I’d know who the artists were, especially since the gift shop didn’t have postcards of any of the ones I loved. Thankfully, the internet delivered; the museum has a digital gallery so I could find my favorites and sit with them some more.
The exhibit of Flemish and Dutch art hung in galleries whose walls were painted nearly black. The darkened galleries created the perfect backdrop for the bloom of light in the paintings. Most were deep tones with a glow of warm light that shone on silk garments, forest scenes, or still lifes. Brian pointed out a still life he liked. He said he doesn’t usually care for still lifes, but he liked that one. I said, I love still lifes, they’re my favorite.
And then we walked into a whole room of them, and I gasped with pleasure. One was a scene of wreckage on a table, the aftermath of a wild party filled with seafood and meat pies. A pitcher is overturned. A lemon peel hangs from a lamp. In the background is lobster who sneaks from one level to another. It looks to me like the lobster caused the mischief. This painting delights me. The shining nautilus. The rich blue riboon.
Christian Luycks (1623-1670), Banquet Still Life with Silver and Gilt Vessels, a Nautilus Shell, Porcelain, Food and Other Items on a Draped Table, ca. 1650. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts
From the museum, which itself is a work of art with its open spaces, clean lines, and satisfyingly sturdy, rectangular handrails, we looked out and saw the mural of Leonard Cohen as part of the Montreal cityscape. I felt bathed in goodness.
Leonard Cohen, Montreal
Saturday night, we went to the Upstairs jazz club in an underground, exposed brick room. We had tickets for the Taurey Butler Trio. I leaned my head against the bricks at one point and closed my eyes to focus on the music. I’ve started meditating recently, and I emptied myself like I try to do when I meditate. The music filled the openness inside me.
I listened and was in awe that humans have created things like pianos. It struck me that everything in that room was miraculous. How wondrous that our ancient ancestor humans cared enough about creating music that they figured out how to strike strings to make sounds, and then made strings of different lengths or thicknesses to enable different sounds, and developed instruments so that they could create music with those sounds. And then spent hundreds of years refining those instruments to refine the sounds, and put all those sounds together to make music that doesn’t just touch our ears, but touches our souls. I thought about the building, the tables, the glassware, the cocktail shaker I heard, the electricity that created the light in the room, the thousands of human creations all around us. I was in awe of us as I often am, that we exist and have made all of these things.
On Sunday, we visited the Botanical Garden, where humans design beautiful spaces in harmony with nature. The tresses of a weeping willow swayed in a gentle breeze in the Chinese garden. A tiny tree hugged a boulder. Another stood strong atop its rock. We walked a winding path among conifers, and another among ponds and lilies. I stopped and smelled roses.
Weeping willow in wind, Montreal Botanical Gardentrees, boulders, roses
And I haven’t even talked about the food! Sauces and soups like velvet. Blistered peppers, fresh salads, watermelon and feta. Breads! Cheeses! Pastries! Or the cathedral, which made my eyes prick with tears when I walked inside and saw the wonder of the space.
My soul feels full. I am in awe of the excellence humanity strives for. I am deeply grateful for the beauty people create and share with the world.
Back in January, a friend at work pitched an idea on our internal watercooler blog: what if we start a creators club, with the end goal of presenting our work as an online exhibit? Before this happened, I had set an intention in January to draw this year, so I thought, what the heck, and I signed up.
We had a 12 week timeline to create our piece of art. For 10 of those 12 weeks, I wondered what I would make for the exhibit. I drew in my daily journal with ink. I doodled. When I set my intention in January, my goal for 2024 was to create a botanical journal. But as I drew every day in the early part of the year, nature and botanicals weren’t what I enjoyed drawing. Instead, I enjoyed drawing everyday objects, little reminders of quiet time in the morning with my coffee, or car chats while getting boba with our daughter, or a relaxing cocktail at the end of the day.
You see where I’m going here?
As I drew these little things in my journal, I wondered, I’m already doing this journal, how could I build on this to make something… more? Something extra, so that it’s special for the exhibit? I thought intentional composition, paint, and working on unbound paper were a good starting point. From those constraints, and the fact that I was running out of time, I finally decided to draw and paint a list of my favorite drinks. It’s called Wet Whistle. There’s a little more about it on the Creators Club website we launched today, along with creations from others who work at Automattic and like to make art.
Today is Saturday, and my husband is home. As I write, I smell the warm scent of bread he’s baking. I recently heard an idea to switch the end-of-day question from “How was your day?” to “What was your happiest moment from today?”, and as of right now, at 3:08pm, my happiest moment is smelling this bread. I don’t know if there’s a cozier, more comforting smell in the world. Maybe cookies baking.
I’ve completed my gardening vacation. I spread all the mulch. I counted the number of times I filled the wheelbarrow, and it more than doubled my estimate of 50 barrows per pile: I moved 107 wheelbarrows for the pile out back, which I assume means I spread 100+ wheelbarrows from the pile out front as well.
Once I finished the mulch, I filled the bird feeders with seed, and I washed the bird bath basins, set them back on their pedestals after winter, and filled them with fresh water from the hose. I saw a little pink finch splashing in the one by our bedroom window this morning.
I still have garden stuff to do, but I’m gardened out for now. The fertilizer and new plants will have to wait for another weekend. With my two remaining days before going back to work, I want to return to my sketch journals. After completing my four week 10-minutes-per-day drawing challenge, I discovered that, surprise! I enjoy drawing as a method of journaling. I don’t complete an entry every day, but I do manage 2-3 journal pages per week. I enjoy the process of drawing little doo-dads from my days, and unlike my written journals, I actually go back and look at my drawn journal pages. I enjoy the little delights I’d forgotten about.
To help keep me going, I signed up for a 12-week creators club at work where we each committed to making something to exhibit at the end of the 12 weeks. I didn’t know what I would make; I only knew that I wanted to keep drawing, and I’d probably use pen and ink. We’re now 4 or 5 weeks from the exhibit, and I still don’t know what I’m going to make. I seem to like the mundane — I gravitate towards it in both my writing and my drawing. I enjoy daily nothings, just little delights. I also like lists. The list assignment in week four was one of my favorites from my January drawing challenge: I drew my ink bottles. I’m considering a list drawing for the creators club. Maybe a sketch list of 10 boring things about me, or of my favorite drinks.
The final weeks of the 30 days of drawing challenge included several assignments I wasn’t crazy about, all of which included drawing human figures. On those days, I grudgingly did the exercises, but I derived no joy from them and have therefore not included them in this post.
This was good for me to learn: it helped me figure out what does bring me joy in drawing. I loved the lettering exercise, and I loved one of the visual storytelling assignments: we drew three random objects, then pulled words out of a bowl to go with the drawings to tell one-word stories that were actually kind of profound. For example, I drew a fountain pen, and the word I pulled for that one was Forgotten. I’ve not been writing much lately (because I’ve been drawing), and that one was eye-opening. I also found I love drawing small objects like my ink bottles, my pen pouch, and an imperfect baguette.
letteringdrawn journalingone-word storiesdrawn listswhat I learned from 30 days of drawingAssignments from week 4 of 30 Days of Drawing
I really like the idea of drawn journaling, and being a list-lover, I enjoyed the illustrated list, too so I bought a couple of books for inspiration (Lists: To-Dos, Illustrated Inventories, Collected Thoughts, and Other Artists by Liza Kirwin and Draw Your Day: An Inspiring Guide to Keeping a Sketch Journal by Samantha Dion Baker).
Drawing is still very new to me, so everything could and likely will change. On the days of assignments I didn’t like, the ones that involved drawing people, I was interested by what I chose to do instead to scratch my drawing itch. On those days, I found joy in simple drills of learning how to shade and make textures and patterns using pen and ink.
It’s a good thing I’m rejecting perfectionism in this 10-minutes-per-day drawing habit thing I’m doing, because the quality of my drawings took a pretty deep plunge in the third week. Enough so that I’m embarrassed to even share them here. But the theme of the week was to be silly and have fun, and to definitely not take myself too seriously or feel like the drawings had to actually be good.
The challenges included drawing with your eyes closed, with your non-dominant hand, and upside down. They also included only drawing negative space, exploring shading by drawing an alien in sunlight, and drawing a subject three ways with your body: once using just your fingers (no wrist or elbow motion allowed), once with just your wrist, and once with just your shoulder, holding your arm out straight and moving only at the shoulder joint. I drew a blood orange.
And it was fun, and silly, and I didn’t take it seriously. In fact, it loosened me up enough to try using a paintbrush with my inks to add a little color. I hadn’t been brave enough to do that before. In the spirit of bravery and posting embarrassing stuff on the internet, here are my silly drawings from the third week of my 30 days of 10 minutes a day.
eyes closed and left-handeddrawing upside downthe space around my ivyfinger, wrist, and shoulder blood orangealien in the sun