This morning, when I skipped my workout and instead listened to a podcast, I learned a distinction in how to think about purpose in our lives. The podcast episode was The Happiness Lab’s How to Find Your Purpose.
I am a sucker for this subject. I want to live a rich, fulfilling life that leaves me with few regrets on my deathbed. Purpose seems to be a key component to both richness and fulfillment. But when I seek my Purpose, I feel anxiety instead of direction. I don’t know my Purpose! What if I never find it?
Jordan Grumet, the guest on the podcast, addresses this worry. He distinguishes between big P Purpose and little p purpose. Purpose with a big P is the one that gets me, and apparently a lot of people, stressed. It feels like, “Why am I here? What am I meant to do?” It induces anxiety if we want to find Purpose but don’t know where to look. Little p purpose, though, does not ask “why?”; it doesn’t examine the reason for our existence. Instead it asks, “what lights you up?”
Purpose does not have to be an epic, put all your eggs in this one basket or you fail at life kind of thing. It can (and Grumet argues should) be about the daily ordinary, where we spend the bulk of our lives. I love the daily ordinary! I can do this kind of purpose.
Open windows and fresh air light me up. Working in the garden lights me up: pulling weeds, growing plants, arranging them in the garden, putting fresh water out for the birds, looking for caterpillars, watching flowers bloom, sitting and smelling and watching. I cannot wait for my sabbatical for this! Great conversations light me up. Conversations where I learn a person’s inner workings and feelings, when they’ve shared something intimate and vulnerable, when we’ve taken each other into one another’s trust. Snuggling with my husband or the cats (or both) lights me up. Beauty lights me up: art, music, trees, nature, architecture, design, literature. Just the word literature makes my heart skip a beat. Writing something that resonates with even one person lights me up. Good food lights me up. Traveling, playing games, laughing, and talking about life with our kids light me up.
All of these are achievable. They are not intimidating. They are constant loves that are unlikely to change. They are my little p purpose that create a rich and fulfilling life.
Butterfly Mind 