Butterfly Mind

Tag: dailyprompt

The sweet taste of finishing

June 14th, 2024

Sometimes, I don’t want to get up at 4:45 in the morning to go to the pool and swim. Sometimes, the night before, I’ll weigh whether I really need to go, maybe I could just walk for exercise later in the day instead. Sometimes, when my alarm goes off, I lay in bed and debate whether to go.

At that point, the cats are walking on me, so I have to get up to feed them anyway. But sometimes I consider, should I just put my robe on and get back in bed after I feed them? Or should I suit up?

When I get to the pool, sometimes I think, well, I can always stop early if I don’t feel like doing the full workout. Fifteen laps isn’t 25, but it’s better than zero. And then I start swimming, and I think, I can stop after this set if I want to.

Sometimes, I go through all of those debates with myself. I debate because it’s hard, because I don’t want to, because I want to skip ahead to the breakfast part of my day.

But one of my favorite moments in life, and it happens almost every time I go through all of this mental nonsense about “do I swim? do I not swim?”, one of my favorite moments that I savor every time it happens, is when I touch the wall after my 25th lap and know that despite it all, I swam. I did something good for myself, I didn’t give in, I didn’t give up, and now I’m done, I got it over with, I don’t have to exercise any more that day, it wasn’t really that bad, after all, and I feel kinda good, and now I get to get out and get dressed and go home to drink coffee and eat my oatmeal with berries and nuts and nutella.

Daily writing prompt
Describe one of your favorite moments.
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New ereader

June 13th, 2024

I’ve been having trouble with my kobo over the past few months. It’d freeze up mid-novel, and I’d have to go through a whole 15 minute process of jabbing at the screen, sighing and being dramatic about my book not working, angrily holding the button for what seemed like forever to get it to turn off, then boot it back up again. Or the battery would go from 75% to 0% in a matter of minutes. It worked great when it worked, but the times it didn’t work got to be frustrating enough that I started looking into replacing it.

I’ve had two or three nooks from Barnes & Noble, but borrowing ebooks from the library was a giant pain, which is why I moved to the kobo. I could borrow books using the Libby app on my phone, then sync my kobo, and voila, the book was on my device. I loved this! It was the best! Until the kobo started breaking down and disrupting my reading. I hated that. That was the worst.

This time around I didn’t want to just buy another low-tech kobo and have the same problems, so I decided to try something different. Library borrowing is my top priority for an ereader. E-ink, self-lit, and lightweight are second, third, and fourth priorities. A friend told me about Boox, which makes e-ink Android tablets. With something like this, I’d be able to add the Libby library app directly to my device and read from there. I’d also be able to add the kobo and nook apps, which would give me access to the scores of books I bought on both of those services, all in one place. I own copies of most of my favorite books through the nook, but I can’t access them from my kobo because I bought them from Barnes & Noble.

So I splurged and bought a Boox Page, and the UPS guy delivered it yesterday. It’s going to take some getting used to. I’m in the middle of re-reading Jamaica Inn by Daphne du Maurier, so I set up my Libby account and am reading from inside the app, which has a different look from what I’m used to on my kobo. I managed to make the font big, which is the most important first step. The next step was figuring out how to increase the spacing to give a little breathing room between lines. I can’t figure out how to increase the margins, which is annoying — I don’t like the words running up against the edges of the screen — and I don’t like the page turning action that happens. I don’t need it to simulate a page turning, I just want to go to the next page, but I can’t figure out how to turn that off.

I’m eager to keep exploring and get everything set up the way I like. I’m particularly excited to get back into my nook purchases. I have copies of my favorite Hemingway in there, and I’ve been wanting to reread A Moveable Feast, which my library doesn’t have and I didn’t want to have to buy again. I was pleased that the Page came with a case, as well, so I don’t have to immediately go out and buy one. Boox devices seem to not be very common, though, and I really loved my kobo case which I could convert into a stand to prop up my book on the table to read while I eat. I’m not sure I’ll be able to find something similar for the Page, so that’s a problem I’ll need to solve.

Daily writing prompt
What notable things happened today?
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Back to bicycling

May 11th, 2024

It’s Saturday morning, and I’m doing something I rarely do during the day: I’m watching TV. I’m watching the Giro d’Italia bike race.

Many years ago, pre-children, I loved cycling. I bought a compact Cannondale road bike shortly after my husband and I married 25 years ago, and I rode it all over the mid-Atlantic region of the United States. We lived in Maryland at the time, and had endless access to low-traffic, rolling-hill roads among beautiful bucolic scenery.

I guess I rode for about ten years, and I feel like I maybe even clocked 10,000 miles, though I could be making that up. Then kids happened, and priorities shifted, and biking fell away. I don’t remember when I sold my bike, probably in Minnesota because I don’t remember bringing one to Virginia. And so, for the past 15 years, I’ve been bikeless, and I didn’t really miss it.

Something happened in the past year, though, where I started itching for it again. Maybe it was getting back into the Tour de France last year. After the men’s Tour, we watched the women’s Tour. Then the Vuelta a España. Cycling season ended for the winter, and when the spring classics began, we began watching again: Milan-San Remo, Tour of Flanders, Paris-Roubaix, Liège-Bastogne-Liège.

A bigger contributor is that my husband bought a road bike again last year. At first, watching him ride out didn’t affect me. The hills where we live are steep, not rolling, and our roads are tight and mountain-winding, not wide or super cyclist friendly. I was a big No thank you on cycling, and I didn’t think I wanted to ride.

And then I did. We bought a convertible Mazda last May, and the feel of the wind when we drive these mountain roads with the top down reminds me of what it feels like to ride a bike. I love moving quickly through the air, with the wind on my face and my arms. I love the freedom of it. I miss that, and I was getting bored with swimming, walking, and running for physical activity.

At the end of March, my husband and I went to DC to see a jazz guitarist play and to see a Dorothea Lange exhibit. While we were there, I bought a used road bike. A Cannondale, the bike brand of my heart. On our walk around Georgetown, I bought a helmet.

Slowly, gently, I’m riding a bike again. My first couple of rides, I just did laps in the neighborhood; the tires were old and I didn’t have a tire change kit or any way to carry one with me, so I didn’t want to go far from home. Then I extended my laps to a circuit outside of the neighborhood. It feels so good to go fast through the air.

Gradually, I’m updating my bike. My husband changed out the cables and brake pads, I changed out the tires and the tubes. My bike shifts beautifully now, and the chain no longer rubs. I bought cycling shorts and a jersey, so I can ride in comfort and carry my phone and a pump in my jersey. I bought a tire change kit and a little saddle bag to store it in. I bought some cycling shoes. Today, while we watched the Giro, my husband put my new Speedplay pedals on.

I’m riding again.

Daily writing prompt
What does freedom mean to you?
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Deglaze

February 2nd, 2024

I love food. I love to eat. My best friend growing up used to joke that I live to eat, I don’t eat to live. This was true when I squirted her family’s Hershey syrup straight into my mouth at 16, and it’s true today. The problem is that I don’t love to cook. I do cook and have cooked for years because I love to eat and because I have a family to feed, but it’s rare that I get excited about being in the kitchen to make savory foods. Baking is different, I enjoy baking: cakes, muffins, pies, bread, rolls, scones, bars. All of that. I like all of that.

When I think about cooking, and what my favorite things to cook are, I realize the pleasure I enjoy is in the end product — the food I get to eat — rather than the process itself. Like this falafel, which I don’t love to cook, but I do love to eat. Or I love a dish because the flavor to effort ratio is super high (roasted broccoli with salt), or it is easy to clean up after. Mostly I’m a lazy cook. But despite being a lazy cook, I like real, whole, quality food, so I’ll suffer to cook in order to eat real food instead of processed or out of a box.

For a meal with a lot of ingredients, like a pineapple cashew quinoa stir-fry I used to make, I like doing the prep or I like cooking the dish, but I don’t like doing both. I think I actually prefer setting the mise en place and then my husband can come through and cook the actual dish. I like chopping and measuring and wiping the board, and putting each ingredient in its little glass bowl that he can then toss into the stir-fry in its time. How nice it is to come in to cook and have everything clean, tidy, and ready! But I’d rather do the readying and tidying than the stir-frying.

There is one process in cooking that I do really love, though. I love to deglaze a pan. It’s so satisfying! Especially when I get to do it in our beautiful, smooth, enameled cast iron braiser. I make a chicken and orzo dish lately, where I pan sear chicken breasts with tarragon, salt, and pepper. When the chicken’s done and I pull it off the pan, I drizzle the braiser again with olive oil to sauté shallots and garlic. I’ve got my cooking sherry and vegetable stock (or pasta water from the orzo) next to the pan, and as soon as the shallots are soft and ready, I splash the sherry and broth in, and the braiser hisses and steams like its insides are going to burst, and it’s a chaotic, fast, sizzling witch’s cauldron where visions might appear in the froth.

And then 5 seconds later, it’s a beautiful, calm, caramelized sauce. No sizzles. No spattering. No steam. Instead of being encrusted with bits of chicken that would take days to soak off, the bottom of the braiser is smooth and pristine. I run the wooden spatula back and forth over the bottom of the pan and it’s like velvet; no stuck-on lumps. I simmer off some of the liquid, toss in the cooked orzo and some fresh tarragon, sprinkle with fresh grated parmesan, and serve with chicken.

The meal is fine to eat, it’s nothing spectacular, but I do love the buildup to the deglazing of our beautiful braiser. It’s exciting, and like magic how the pan goes from crusty to smooth in an instant.

Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite thing to cook?
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Week 2 of 30 days of drawing: delights!

January 25th, 2024

I recently finished a book, Clear Thinking by Shane Parrish, that had a surprising twist at the end. It’s a self-development book I read for work, so was reading in the context of how I show up at my job, and particularly for the purpose of developing decision-making skills. I expected your typical business-y productivity book (which it is, though it’s wiser and more insightful than most I’ve read), so I was surprised at the end of the book to see a chapter called “The Happiness Experts.” What does happiness have to do with good decision-making?

Parrish distills good decision-making down to two things: knowing how to get what you want, and knowing what’s worth wanting — what really matters. The consideration of happiness helps us make decisions based on what really matters.

The happiness experts he seeks wisdom from at the end of the book are elders in their 70s, 80s, and 90s: people have lived a long life, who are facing death, and who have the perspective of many years of living to know what really matters. One of the items those elders list as important* is to savor daily pleasures instead of waiting for big events. We spend the vast majority of our lives in the mundane day-to-day. If we want to tip the balance towards more happiness, the every-day is the place to find it.

I am all in on this. I love the mundane. I love lounging around in my leisure time and laughing with my husband and kids. I love writing and drawing with my pretty inks. I love sitting by a crackling fire and reading novels. I love standing at the back window and watching the birds, squirrels, and bunnies. I love walking around my neighborhood and seeing the trees and mountains, smelling the air, and listening to wind in the leaves. I love finding beauty in the shape of an ink bottle, delight in my peanut butter and honey toast, awe in nature, curiosity in people-watching, comfort and coziness in my slippers, a surge of love when I smell our daughter’s vanilla perfume, hear her shoulder her swim bag, or taste the latest flavor of bubble tea she’s drinking.

The second week of the 30 days of drawing challenge I joined was all about delights. Needless to say, I had fun with this week. I had two long flights so I had lots of time to play with, and I spent more than 10 minutes on some of the drawings. I was absorbed in the activity of making marks on the page, and it brought me pleasure, and I had time, and I had no reason to stop. I feel good about that decision.

Day 7: something that delights me

Day 8: delicious delights

Day 9: delight in nature

Day 10: blind contour

Day 11: clothes that delight (my slippers)

Day 12: delight through our sense

A week of drawing delights

*Other items on the list of things elders say matter in life are saying things now to people you care about, spending maximum time with your children, working in a job you love, and selecting your mate carefully.

Bloganuary writing prompt
What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
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Week 1 of 30 days of drawing: doodles

January 23rd, 2024

Of the two intentions I set for 2024, I am succeeding at one of them: I draw nearly every day. My friend and team lead, Kristina — the one who got me hooked on drawing to begin with — sent me an Instagram message to tell me about a January, 10-minutes a day, anti-perfectionist 30-day drawing habit… community? course? Substack? I don’t know what to call it, but it’s run by Wendy MacNaughton, the illustrator of Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat. After first saying, “but I’m not a subscriber!,” then landing a free 30 day trial*, I said hell yes! And I started drawing, fearlessly. Because the whole point is to have fun and stop editing yourself.

As with many online drawing lessons I’ve dipped my toes into, this one introduced us first to line. Or at least I thought it did. I can’t find a corresponding lesson, but I have this drawing of different kinds of lines that I’m sure came from WendyMac’s lessons:

Different kinds of lines

From there, I set a timer for 10 minutes for each assignment, turned off my brain, and drew based on the prompts she gave. It reminded me a lot of the talk I gave at WordCamp US, and then again at WordCamp Europe: Publish in 10 minutes per day. The keys are 1) to have a prompt to work from, and 2) to reject perfectionism. Set a timer, let it rip, don’t worry, and boom, you have a blog post (or a drawing).

One of the keys to having fun creatively is to not be precious or embarrassed by what you’ve made. So in that spirit, I’m posting the drawings from my first week with WendyMac. The theme of the week was doodling. Doodling is fun. It’s low pressure, there’s no comparison to reality, and it’s easy to flow with. I’ve found I really enjoy lines, and I like to doodle on airplanes. I turn on some music, or the fireplace video if available, and let my pen wander. Doodling passes the time while also putting me in a flow state. I found some entrancing doodlers on Instagram, and I am inspired.

The first assignment of the 30-day habit was to draw, in 10 minutes, what I want to do more of and less of in 2024. My More list is basically stuff I like to do for fun: listen to music, enjoy nature, travel, go for walks or hikes. And now, draw.

Below are my doodles. I have so much to learn 😂. For starters, I’ve learned about paper, and about not drawing on both sides of lightweight paper. I’ve also learned that 10 minutes is not very long. I think that’s the trick to it: 10 minutes is a short amount of time. It’s the starting that matters. Committing to 10 minutes helps you get started. There were a couple of days in week 2 where I said screw the 10 minutes, I’ve started, and I’m having fun, and I’m going to keep going. But the 10 minutes is also to give constraints and say, hello, this isn’t a masterpiece and don’t spend 2 weeks on it. Just 10 minutes. You don’t need to be perfect. Loosen up. Have fun.

Day 1: intentions

Day 2: doodle into drawing

Day 3: doodle future

Day 4: circles

Day 5: get griddy

Day 6: doodle finale

Bloganuary writing prompt
List five things you do for fun.
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