I looked up to make eye contact, like youβre supposed to do when presenting to a room full of people, but his eyes were down.Β The crown of his head of soft white hair was tipped toward me.Β He was making notes.Β He licked his thumb and moved the page over as I turned the page in my reading.
βOn the walk down the planked dock, fiddler crabs went about their work in the higher marsh flats,β I read.Β Jesus, I thought.Β How many times have I used the word marsh?Β Thatβs the fifth time in the past 30 seconds.Β I need to edit that.
βOk, Andrea,β he held up his hand to stop me.Β βYou sound great so far – your tempo is perfect – but you need to project more.βΒ He was at the far end of a hardwood floor room, sitting in a plastic black chair near the doorway.Β His legs were crossed with my papers on his lap.Β When he instructed me to project, he gestured, pen in hand, to his diaphragm, drew his hand up his body and delivered it forward, showing me how to draw the words from deep inside, carry them up my vocal chords and propel them out of my mouth.Β Showing me how to empower my voice.
We practiced in the Performing Arts building at Virginia Tech.Β The room smelled warm and softly spiced, like wood and radiator heat.Β Tony Distler, the white haired reading coach who was helping me, told me the building was originally the Universityβs student center.Β βReally?Β Itβs so small.β I looked around at the golden pine walls, behind me at the stone fireplace. βHow old is it?β
βThe keystone was laid in 1899,β he smiled.
There were mirrors on the wall, like in my old ballet studio, and as Tony assembled a podium from crates, I asked, βIs this room used for dance classes?β
βYes,β he told me, and he pushed down on the floor with his foot.Β βThe floor isnβt sprung, but the timbers beneath it – this whole building is made of wood – have beautiful give, so it is perfect for dance.β
I straightened my spine, drew breath from deep in my belly, and projected my voice over the wood planks to the far end of the room.Β On page two, I already felt the piece sagging.Β It was too slow.Β Whoβs going to care about this?Β And I still have six pages to go.Β Salt and water, heat and salt, salt and water, sand and salt.Β Jeez, how many times do I write variations of that?Β I need to fix those phrases too.Β What must this guy think of me?Β Probably wondering how on earth I ended up a finalist.
βThis guyβ keeps an office upstairs at the Performing Arts building.Β When I shook his hand upon meeting him, I asked, βWhat is your position here at Tech?βΒ He hesitated, then he smiled kindly and said, βIβm retired.β
βBut you still have an office on campus?Β How wonderful!β
βI was Director of the School of the Arts when I retired.β
Oh.Β Perhaps I should have done some research.
When I finished reading my work to him, Tony stood and told me I had done well.Β My tempo and pacing were good, and I had sustained my projection after correcting for it.Β He pulled his chair back into the middle of the room and we sat side by side so he could give me some pointers.
βOn page three, the paragraph that begins βWe could take the boat out -β
βYes, I see that one,β I said.
βThat last sentence – itβs a wonderful sentence by the way – donβt slow that one down too much.β
And he read my sentence, in his honey, theater-trained voice, and it was wonderful.
βJust the natural world that was exposed to the elements, with sands that shifted with storms and tides, and plants and animals that had adapted to a life of salt and water,β he read.
βWow.β I stared at him.Β βYou made it sound like poetry.βΒ I pictured the room next door, and the stage that was in it, and imagined him coaching young actors.Β Imagined him, script in his left hand, gesturing with his right, awing them with his ability to breathe life into the written word.
βNow this line, on page six, is similar,” he said.Β “Itβs a wonderful, strong sentence, with a natural momentum that peaks here, at βtide pools.βΒ Then you can slow it down, to give the words their power.Β And this comma here,β and he showed me the comma between “them” and “washing,” βleave it in the piece, by all means, but donβt observe it when you read.β
And he read my sentence, and he felt the words, and he showed me their power with his voice.Β Power I intended when I wrote the sentence, but didnβt feel the words conveyed, lying there on the page.
βOn the long walk back, I watched the tide creep up the beach, louder now, waves building with the force of an ocean behind them, washing up into the tide pools, awing me with its power, its inevitability,β he read.
At the end of the session, I felt I had been given a great gift to share this time with Tony.Β Reading with him didnβt just show me the flaws.Β It showed me the beauty, too.
βI have learned so much today,β I told him.Β βI read this out loud to myself before I submitted it, because I know youβre supposed to do that as a writer.Β I caught a lot when I did that – lots of overused words and cumbersome phrases.Β But to read it to an audience?Β That was totally different.βΒ Wondering, oh my God, is this total crap?Β Why didnβt I cut that sentence?Β This phrase?Β That word?
Tony smiled and said, βIβm not here to tell you what to cut.Β Iβm just here to help with you sharing your work with an audience.Β But yes, I can see you recognize where you repeat yourself.Β Feel free to edit before the reading.β
βAnd the way you read it,β I said, still in awe.Β βYou brought it to life.Β I didnβt know it could have so much life.β
He shook my hand firmly, and his gentle eyes crinkled in encouragement.Β βIβll be there to introduce you, and you are welcome to call me with any questions you have between now and then.β
Tony walked up the worn wooden stairs to his office, and I stepped out into the sunlight, my voice a glittering new tool in my writing box.
Dr. Tony Distler is Alumni Distinguished Professor Emeritus of Theater and Director of the School of the Arts Emeritus at Virginia Tech.Β He has generously offered one-on-one coaching sessions to finalists of theΒ New River Valley Voices juried reading, for which my piece “Riding in Boats Through Salt Marshes” was selected.Β Meeting with him was one of the greatest writing lessons I have ever received, and I am honored and grateful to be chosen as a finalist, if for no other reason than that coaching session.Β The reading will take place at the Blacksburg Public Library on Sunday April 21, 2013 at 3pm.
16 responses to “Reading out loud”
I hope you get a video of the reading; I really want to see it
I don’t think that’s going to happen Amy. I wish you could be there though. It would comfort me for you to be in the audience π
Andrea, I accepted my B.A. in theater arts in that very room. Tony was a professor of mine, and I too have great respect for him. Thanks for the jog down memory lane. You describe that room and Tony to perfection.
I didn’t know you had a degree in theater arts! Do you still act? I’d love to come see you in a production.
what a lovely story. thank you.
Thank you Carey, I’m glad you enjoyed it π
What a wonderful experience!
It really was, Ellen. I’ve never done anything like that before, and it was amazing. One more reason to appreciate actors and their craft.
Wow, just wow! For the writing, for you recognising the changes you wanted to make, and for him showing you how wonderful it already was.
Wow.
Thank you – it was definitely a highlight in my nascent writing career.
What a beautiful story. π
Thank you, Sarah.
Congratulations, Andrea! What a great resource you have in Dr. Distler to coach you up. I wish I could have been there. Do you think he meant it needs editing, or just edit if you think it needs it? Just as when you hear your recorded voice for the first time, “I don’t sound like that!” you may have been too self-critical. Obviously, I haven’t heard you read it, but IMHO please get a second opinion before you do any editing to your wonderful piece. To me the only word for marsh is marsh, not swamp or bog, or salina or fen. Or moor. Or whatever inlanders think a salt marsh is. One’s reading pace is different compared to hearing pace, I think.
Thanks Dad π He meant just edit if I think it needs it – he had no criticisms. All the criticisms here were what was running through my head. I just read it out loud again a couple of times at home, and I didn’t notice the repetition of marsh as much. I did hit my 10 minutes with a page still to go, so I’m not sure yet what to do about that. I’ll ask my friend tomorrow, who read last year.
And I agree – none of those other words are accurate for marsh
[…] comment sections, is to read your work out loud to listen for mistakes. I, too, have written about reading out loud, and how effective it is for finding holes or unnecessary repetition or phrasing that just […]