I’m glad I skipped my morning workout. The mountains and sky are beautiful in their October colors. Much better than our dark basement.

I’m glad I skipped my morning workout. The mountains and sky are beautiful in their October colors. Much better than our dark basement.

As I lay down in bed last night, I knew I didn’t want to exercise first thing in the morning. I’m bored of my workout routine, and also, I didn’t have a blog post queued up for today. I had already laid out my workout clothes, and I went to sleep knowing I’d put them on when I woke up, but that’s about as far as I’d get towards working out. I’d likely have a leisurely morning with an extra 30 minutes to myself before work, not exercising, just hanging out with the cats and writing.
And here I am. It felt even better than I thought it would to roll out of bed, feed the kitties, and then not exercise. Our cat, Tubbles, purrs on my arm as I write this. Her belly is pressed against mine, and her little fuzzy body vibrates against me. A cat purring, and especially a cat purring because of attention I give her, where her purr tells me, “I loooovvee yoou,” is one of my favorite things in life. It soothes me instantly. It’s a satisfying, joy-inducing sound, especially when you then pet the kitty and can feel the purr. Tubbles looks up at me while she purrs, like our kids gazed up from my arms when they were babies, and I’m so glad I’m sitting here with her in my arms rather than sweating downstairs in the basement.
It’s dark out, and I’m waiting for it to get light. I want to see my flowers. The sun doesn’t rise until 7:37am. That’s an hour away. On Wednesdays, I take our daughter to her drylands practice at 6am and sit in a dark parking lot while she works out. In the afternoon I take her to swim practice from 5:45 to 7:30. By the time she emerges from the aquatic center, I’m sitting in a dark parking lot again. I can’t believe we still have two months until the solstice, and the days will get even shorter every day until then.
It’s supposed to be quite nice today once the sun does rise. I didn’t work out in the dark basement this morning. Maybe I’ll go for a run later in the sunlight. I’ve already got my workout clothes on. I just need to mix things up a bit.
I keep a well-being journal these days. It’s like a super deluxe version of a gratitude journal. Each day gets its own page, and each day I record things I’m grateful for, moments I savor, beauty I appreciate, stuff I laugh at.
In this well-being journal, I also record the weather. My brother told me he keeps a journal, and he always records the weather in it. I like that. The weather has a definite impact on my mood and my well-being. When I intentionally note the weather, I can make adjustments to my day to account for it. Sunny and fair? I’ll plan to eat lunch on the back deck, work from the garden in the afternoon, or go for a run or walk outside. Rainy with no sunshine? I’m going to need to compensate so I don’t fall into a gloom.
Typically, the first thing I do in my morning routine after I exercise is detach my phone from the charger and check the NOAA weather page. I listened to an interview yesterday with novelist Rumaan Alam, whose most recent book includes a massive power and Internet outage. He said something in the interview that stood out to me, something about how our phones and devices are so much an extension of us now, we can be scrolling Twitter, remember we need to check our email, and start looking around for our phone, not even realizing the phone is in our hands and we’re looking right at it.
This morning, after my workout, I was tempted to follow my normal routine: check the weather on my phone, then record it in my journal. Instead, I decided to feel the weather with my own body, my own skin.
I stepped onto the front steps in socked feet. I was surprised by the temperature. Yesterday morning was cold, about 47℉ before the sun rose. But this morning, in the dark before dawn, I felt comfortable in short sleeves and cropped leggings. I stood on the landing and realized, this is what balmy feels like.
I stood under the porch light and looked up at the sky. It was deep black, with one bright star I could see despite the ambient light of the bulb. I heard insects. No cars, no lawn mowers, no air conditioners or heaters. In the dark, I felt a breath of wind on my arms and listened to it rustle the drying leaves of October trees.
Last night, I pulled my flannel pajamas out of storage. When I woke this morning and looked out our bedroom window, I saw a silver dusting of frost on the grass. Melted droplets glittered in the sun.
Now I sit in my favorite spot by the living room window eating lemon cake and drinking coffee while classical music softly plays. The parts of the lawn still in shade look like silvery green carpet.
It’s 38℉ (3℃) and bright sunny. Despite the frost, the garden is still in bloom. Bronze tassels of ornamental grasses wave to the early sun. Purple salvia spike bright, and pink and peach zinnias lift their petaled faces to the morning September light. The rose bushes are dotted with fuschia blossoms; the autumn joy sedums by the mailbox have darkened to a deep dusty rose.
I wish I had an encyclopedia of colors. I want a book of photographs of real things, organized by color, that I can flip through to find color names. I can’t find the right name for the color the sedums are. They’re terra cotta with a hint of pink. They’re a dusty toadstool cap. They’re pinkish-rust brocolli flowers. It’s driving me bonkers to not be able to find the right word. Does Pantone have a color book? That might work too, though I really would like to look at pictures of real things for inspiration.
As a backdrop to all the blooms, the pear trees have already dropped their leaves. Their bare branches are a tangle of brittle grey and white lines. A blue jay has landed in one of my flower baskets on the front steps. The jay pulls fibers from the coconut liner. Now is the time of year birds visit the summer-worn planters to gather materials for winter nests.
It’s time to get the handkerchiefs out again. The pandemic hit during allergy season. When I didn’t know what tissue availability was going to be like, I bought a bunch of cloth handkerchiefs. They served me well in the spring when my nose itched and ran. Summer saw them sit folded in a drawer. Now that the grasses are in bloom, the hankies are out again.
The silver carpet has shrunk to a small patch of shade next to the driveway. As the shadows of our neighbor’s dogwood trees recede, so does the cold. For now.
We’ve had the windows open since yesterday morning. By the time August arrives, the house has been closed for weeks with the air conditioner on, and we feel claustrophobic, even when there’s not a pandemic. As soon as the high is forecast to drop below 80 degrees, we open up.
A gentle rain falls. With the overcast sky and the wet breeze, it’s cool enough that I changed from shorts into jeans. I’ve got my freshly cut hair pulled back in a low ponytail with a braid on one side to keep the frizz down, and my fingernails and toenails have a new coat of lacquer: coral red. I am dressed and presentable… and have nowhere to go. Even though I finally got my quarantine hair trimmed, we’re still limiting our contact with the outside world.
My bare toes are cold but clammy because of the humidity. The scent of dryer heat drifts up through the rain. Towels tumble dry, and the vent to release the heat is below the open window where I sit to write.
I hear the steady tap of rain on leaves, porch boards, and puddles. Water trickles down the gutter next to my seat by the window. My husband slices vegetables for his stir-fry lunch in the kitchen. I hear the scythe sound of a sharp blade through veg, the thump when the knife meets the board, the sizzle of peanut oil in the pan, the ding of wooden spatula on cast iron.
I spent the morning on chores: I picked up the grocery order and put the groceries away — cold stuff in the fridge, snacks in the cupboard, staples in the pantry. I washed napkins, sheets, and towels. I drove our daughter to (physically distanced) swim practice and dropped off a donation at Goodwill. I emptied bathroom garbage cans. I wiped kitchen counters and the table, folded napkins, took out the compost and the recycling, washed parsley and two heads of lettuce.
And it was only noon when I finished.
Now the rain splashes down and we’re still stuck in our house. With the chores done and the weather too dreary to garden or sail or paddle board — the activities we can do without interacting with other people — I’m inside trying to figure out what to read next. I started The Yellow House, a memoir, but I might be more in the mood for a novel.
While I marinate on what I want, I’m reading an article about Toni Morrison. I didn’t realize she was an editor as well as an author, and it was she who published Henry Dumas’s Ark of Bones. I read that for my Andrea Reads America project and loved it, and I remember being so excited to find it because I had never heard of Henry Dumas, and it was this obscure book of short stories, and it was wonderful. She also hosted a book signing for Muhammad Ali for his 1976 autobiography — a signing she had to work to find a store owner to agree to host because the store owners were all white and “feared riots and looting” — where she brought in Nation of Islam members as peacekeepers. And peaceful it was, of course. More than 2,000 people showed up and got to meet “The Greatest.”
So I don’t know, maybe I’ll read a Toni Morrison book. I remember being assigned The Bluest Eye for school, which makes me wonder about our son’s reading list for his English class this year. He’ll be a high school junior, which I remember was when we started reading meaty stuff. I can’t wait to see what he’ll be reading. Maybe I’ll read along.
The breeze is still cool through the window. Neighbors with young kids walk barefoot in the rain. They wear bright rain jackets and hold umbrellas, and the mom has her pants rolled up to her knees.
The grass is green again after being brown and crisp for almost a month. I want to weed my garden, but not in a more-than-drizzle shower. The steady rainfall has driven all the normal weekend noises away: no lawnmowers, no weed whackers, no air conditioners running. Just the gentle splash of raindrops on leaves, porch boards, and puddles.
Time has slowed down since the pandemic began. Weekend errands, drives to and from the aquatic center, and swim meets are all gone. We planned to sail on Saturday. We had the boat hitched up and drove further away from our house than we have in 72 days now.
But the highway was closed, and traffic on the detour was backed up for miles. We turned around and came home. My boat hat transformed into my reading in the garden hat.
I sat in the garden and read Saturday and Sunday both. If the sun was up, I was outside. I finished one book, and then another. And I took some photos of the lush emerald green. The garden never as deep and fresh a green as it is in May..














