I’ve been feeling the itch to blog, but as usual, haven’t because of the perennial “what will I write about?” problem. I checked my blog’s dashboard today to see what the built-in writing prompt was, because maybe that would spark something, and lo, here I am.
The writing prompt asks, Is your life today what you pictured a year ago? I have no clue what I pictured a year ago for my life. I looked back at my blog, which is turning out to be a really useful supplement to my actual memory. Our daughter wanted tiramisú for her birthday again this year, and I could not remember what recipe I used that she liked so much last year. I vaguely remembered that I might have blogged about it, and sure enough, here it is.
So anyway, I looked back at my blog for this time last year, and discovered that as of December 14 last year, I had blogged for 30 days straight. Thirty days! How on earth did I do that? How did I find something to write about 30 days in a row? The 14th was the last of the 30 days; I picked back up again on December 20 and wrote about a crackling fire, and then the solstice on the 21st. I didn’t write about my future self, except that in my solstice post I jotted down our menu because I liked it and wanted to document it for future years. But if I know myself, I probably pictured myself being cozy at home for the holidays. I probably hoped for myself that I’d be writing and blogging, that we’d be warm and safe with a twinkling Christmas tree and crackling fire, that our kids would be home and happy, that we’d be satisfied in our jobs and lives.
When I think of where I expect to be a year from now, that’s what I picture. Only a year from now, we will have done a bunch more stuff in between. Our daughter will have graduated from high school, and we will have taken her on her graduation trip, possibly to Costa Rica. This time next year, I hope she’s having the college experience of her dreams, and that she loves college as much as our son does. I hope our son will still love his college experience and roommates and friends, and that he will have a chance to get the summer work he’s aiming for. He may have even had a chance to study abroad. I hope my husband and I will have gotten to travel again and take fun trips, like our trips to NYC and Pittsburg this year. I picture myself still employed and finding meaning in my job, and I picture myself still writing, drawing, photographing, and appreciating birds and leaves and books and food.
This time last December, I hadn’t explicitly thought about what my life would look like in a year, so it’s hard to say whether I’m there. While my general life stuff is likely where I pictured — we are cozy, the kids are home and happy, we have a twinkling Christmas tree and crackling fires most nights — I probably hoped for myself that I’d still be blogging regularly. In that sense, I’m not where I thought I’d be. I don’t know why blogging is important to me and why I always want to be doing it. I do enjoy using my blog as a sort of searchable reference book for my life, and that only works if I actually publish, so maybe that’s part of it. It helps me remember what I was thinking about and cared about at different times.
But I don’t think that’s the reason I care about blogging. I joked once that I do it for the likes and comments, which is definitely true (thank you to everyone who reads here ♥️), but I don’t think it’s just that either. There’s something about moving from a private journal, which I’ll never go back and read, to publishing on my own little public corner of the web, where I take a little more care with my writing, where I reference posts, where I have a community that’s not limited by geography. Blogging is both expression and validation. I can express myself in a journal, so maybe it really does come down to validation. Or maybe being able to share stuff that others resonate with? That feels really good too. Is that the same as validation? I don’t know, but I really like that part — the connecting. The being human together.
Whatever the reason, the fact is that I care about blogging. Even so, after all these years (this will be my 1046th post on this blog), it’s still hard to overcome the “is this worth sharing?” question. When I saw today’s prompt and realized I had no recollection what was on my mind a year ago, I was really glad for all the times I did post. Something is better than nothing.



