32 minutes of work for one minute of silence

This is what it sounds like in my head when I go for a run.

00:13  Jesus Christ it smells like cow shit.
00:42  I’ve still got goosebumps.  I knew I should have worn running tights.
00:57  That was smart of me to leave my hair down.  At least my neck is warm.
06:23  Oh my God, it’s only been six minutes?
08:11  Wow, she looks badass.  I’m glad she’s going the other way.
12:10  I am FLYING.  Look at me run!  I am awesome.  I should race another triathlon. (turn up music)
13:34  (see a woman in running capris standing by the fence, starting her watch, starting her run)  That woman looks like she could pace me.  I’ll follow her for a while.
13:55  Maybe not.  I’m on her heels. Poor thing.  Should I pass her?  I don’t want to make her feel bad.  God, I’m hot.  I need to put my hair up.  (pull the elastic off my wrist, make a pony tail.  pat hair.  it’s lumpy.)
14:15  Wait, is she making time on me?  How is she pulling away?  She’s probably on the track team.  Even though she looks like she’s a mom.  With grown kids.
14:42  I still feel awesome.  I’ll run to campus instead of stopping at 15 minutes.
15:12  well, maybe just to the top of this hill
15:23  maybe just halfway up the hill
16:00  I’m gonna turn around.  That’ll be 32 minutes instead of 30. That will rock.
16:12  Whoa!  Look at that guy’s white legs!  Amy would like him – pasty white Englishman.  What is up with those black knee socks?  Is that a rugby uniform?  Wow, he’s fast.
16:27  I should tweet about all the white legs out today.  “Lots of pasty legs on the trail today – all the runners have peeled off their tights for the warm weather.”
No, that’s crap.
“All the runners have peeled off their tights – lots of pasty legs on the trail today.”
God, that sucks too.
Maybe I should write a blog post instead, about the stupid ticker in my head, that won’t ever, ever shut off.
17:14  Let’s see, I’ll start with the cow shit.  Then the goosebumps not even a minute into the run.  Should I include all the time I spent composing tweets about the assault of manure stench?  Then the morale-killer of seeing I had only been running 6 minutes… (all the way through to “stupid running ticker in my head, that won’t ever, ever shut off.”)
(repeat)
(repeat)
(repeat again)
24:02  My God, I’m not done with this run yet?
24:07 I wonder what it sounds like in Jessica’s head when she runs.
24:20  Come on K’naan.  Get me through this (turn up music. sing along.)
25:24  Well, that song took a whole minute.
25:30  (run through blog post in my head a few more times)
28:53  I could stop now.  I haven’t run since Christmas.  29 minutes is good.
(cue Gollum)
No, 32 minutes.  I turned around at 16, I can do the full 32.
(cue Smeagol)
I only set out for 30.  I don’t have to do the full 32.  I could just do 30.
29:43 Just get up the hill. Just get up the hill and see what time it is.
29:50 Silence in my head.
31:20  40 more seconds.  Just 40 more seconds.
32:00 Thank God that’s done. (pant gasp)
33:30  (Start the coffee.  Pull out the green composition book.)
Now what was I thinking?

I finally set up a Facebook page for Butterfly Mind.  I hope you like it.