I have been going non-stop this week. Work got frantically busy with a bunch of stuff happening all at once, things are breaking or need updating all over our house, the kids have appointments, paperwork needs filled out, the swim team needs our volunteer time, and every waking minute has had something crammed into it.
Until this moment. I had an extraordinarily productive day at work today. On my swim this morning, I almost quit on every lap because I felt panicky. My to-do list raced through my head on repeat, and it gathered weight with every repetition. I just did not know how I was going to get to everything I needed to do, and the thing I needed most was time, which I was wasting precious minutes of in the pool.
But! I finished my swim, put every item on my list into my calendar, set strict time limits on the many deadline-driven things I needed to complete, told my team I was likely going to be slow to respond to stuff because I had to focus, and put my head down and barreled through. I got through two big looming things that had to be taken care of before I take care of an even bigger looming thing that also has to be taken care of and that I need to dedicate the rest of my week to. I’m shocked I got all of today’s tasks done, to be honest. I thought I’d carry over at least one of the big things. I am gleeful that I did not.
Now my brain is fried, but I’m able to relax for the first time so far this week. I’m finally sitting alone with my thoughts, not running around, not doing anything but writing.
My cherry Bubly fizzes next to me in the stillness of our empty house. I hear the clock tick as the sun sinks below the leafless Bradford pears across the street. My husband and daughter are at the pool, our son is napping at 7pm, and our cats have full bellies and are not yowling at me or head-butting me or climbing on my keyboard. It’s my night to cook dinner but our oven is broken, so I bought sushi for my husband and daughter, I’m going to eat leftovers, and who knows what our son will do. No cooking, no dishes. My body and brain are exhausted, and I can just sit here in the quiet, taking my rest. Maybe I’ll be ready for the final big looming thing tomorrow, but I’m not going to worry about that today.
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