Our living room is a disaster. On the day after Christmas, I’m always ready to be done with it all so we can have our space back. Everyone else likes to keep the tree around for a while, though, so I guess I’ll continue tripping over furniture for another week.

I used to think Christmas kind of lost its magic once you’re not a kid anymore, or once your own children grow up. This year made me rethink that, though. Our kids are 20 and 18 now. Though they still get excited for Christmas, they acknowledge it’s not the same as when they were little, when the whole year revolved around this holiday.

In the past week, they’ve frequently said, “I’m bored” as they waited for Christmas to arrive. The difference now is that when they’re bored, the things they like to do to get unbored are things we, the parents, the grownups, also like to do.

This is a turning point in our lives as parents! Over this break, we’ve played many hands of Euchre (the moment I’ve been waiting for for 10 years). We’ve watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Muppet Christmas Carol. We’ve talked about books, TV shows, and movies, our son’s college life, our daughter’s college hopes. We’ve sat in the living room, each doing our own thing, in comfortable quiet. We’ve taken turns controlling the stereo to play music. We gave each other thoughtful gifts that made each other happy. We’ve laughed a lot. After opening presents, we went for a hike to get out of the house. During the break, the kids made cookies together like they did when they were toddlers, except that now, they didn’t need my guidance; they did it all themselves, together, without me even being in the kitchen. I shared pictures with them of then and now.

We’ve eaten cinnamon rolls, pecan pie, cherry pie, rum balls, gingerbread cutouts, peanut butter blossoms, snowballs. We’ve drunk mulled pomegranate and cranberry juice, sugar cookie cocktails, hot cocoa with amaretto and marshmallows, and spiked coffee. Our parents sent us cheeses, cured meats, and smoked salmon, which we ate on Christmas Eve with homemade baguettes, and my husband tried a new menu on Christmas day that I can’t wait to eat leftovers of today: pork roast with an apple-sage relish, garlic mashed potatoes, fresh broccoli gratin, roasted carrots, and a holiday salad with kale, fried shallots, Brussels sprouts, radishes, and almonds.

The kids have loved and appreciated it all, even though Christmas doesn’t necessarily mean big surprises or the fun toy they’ve been hoping for all year. I’ve loved and appreciated it all, too. I love hanging out with them. They’re my favorite people. This Christmas feels like it was less about the stuff (though we did all like the stuff, too!) and more about just hanging out and having fun together.